GET YOU A BEVERLY

Get you a Beverly…

A “Beverly” is someone in your life that will give it to you straight, no chaser. A “Beverly” will let you know when you’re being a plumb fool and a “Beverly” won’t let you keep having children by a manipulating jack ass! A “Beverly” will pray over your life and make sure you don’t continue to make the same mistakes.

The “Beverly” in my life happened to be my Mother Beverly.

Because of Beverly's words of wisdom I was able to walk away from a situation that could have had me in a similar situation as Amina, Tara and Peter the Great Manipulator. Only difference was, my guy wasn’t a married man.  One of the best pieces of advice Beverly gave was: “Don’t have no more babies by him.” Those words saved me from a whole heap of heartache. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby-daddy aka my son’s father, he’s a wonderful Dad, but having multiple children with him wouldn’t have been healthy for my heart or my mind during that time in our lives. And since, prison isn’t on my list of goals, the better option for us was to co-parent.

I say all that to say: If Tara Wallace had a “Beverly” in her life, we wouldn’t be witnessing this hot mess love triangle unfold on national television. Beverly would have been told her to stop that stupid shit. I hardly ever discuss Tara negatively, and people often wonder why, since I usually go in hard on other Love & Hip Hop cast members. Truth is, I love me some Tara Wallace and we have history with one another. Tara and I worked together on a stage play and although we’re not besties, we are kindred spirits. She has a charming personality, much like myself. She is sweet and funny and she loves her boys. What can I say, I love nice, funny people.

Tara Wallace and I backstage at our stage play.

I try not to get all “judgie” because I know first-hand that love will make you do some crazy things (In my Deborah Cox voice). My college roommate’s grandmother once told me that love will make you stick your head up a pig’s ass! 

At 18 years old, I didn’t understand that analogy, but after living a little, loving a lot and experiencing heartache for myself; I fully understand what she meant. And what we are witnessing ladies and gentleman is 2 women with their heads up a pig’s ass! We’ve all played some kind of fool before; many of you still are, and many of us were just lucky enough to have a “Beverly” in our life to speak some sense into us and get us out of the situation in the nick of time. Peter is a great manipulator, and I’m sure his words and actions towards both women have them believing all kinds of shit. Even the smartest woman has fallen victim to a man’s empty promises. I was once like Amina singing and writing sad love songs. I  was hoping and praying that my heart felt songs would change my situation. I too, was like Tara thinking that my love was powerful enough to change the heart of a man that wanted to have his cake, pies, cookies and the whole damn buffet. The whole situation is just crazy! I’m not justifying the actions of Tara, Amina or Peter, nor am I here to judge them, but what I’m saying is: I understand.

Thank God for my Beverly! You better get you one! 

THE FLINT I KNOW

With tear filled eyes I write this blog, in hopes that it will penetrate someone’s soul with love. I am writing from a place of love and passion, so I entitle this: THE FLINT I KNOW.

Before the #FlintWaterCrisis, Flint was just a town full of hardworking, resilient and proud folk. And guess what? When the #FlintWaterCrisis hashtag is no longer a trending topic and the Kardashians do something like save a bumble bee, Flint will still be a town full of hardworking, resilient and proud folk.

The Flint I know is more than a statistic stating how General Motors screwed us. The Flint I know is filled with my friends and their parents who were “shop” workers or retired “shop” workers and proud of it. The Flint I know is more than a violent city. The Flint I know is filled with extremely, talented folks trying to make a difference in their community and the world-at-large. The Flint I know is not full of despair. The Flint I know is full of hope. The Flint I know is not all about slow singing and flower bringing. The Flint I know is full of energy from that party DJ’d by Hype. 

Photo Courtesy of Anthony "Hype" Carter via Facebook 

The Flint I know is not unhealthy and lazy. The Flint I know is full of CRIM trainers and CRIM runners.

Photo Credit: Flint Crim Foundation 

The Flint I know is not tacky. The Flint I know is styled by Fannie Lucille and Tiffany Cole, and is as fashionable as a New York runway. 

The Flint I know is not starved by the lack of adequate grocery stores. The Flint I know is fed by Woods, the Flint Farmer’s Market, Big Al, Beverly, The Red Wagon and Vehicle City Tacos.

The Flint I know is not filled with losers. The Flint I know breeds Champions like Mateen, Charlie and Mo, Claressa Shields, The Dirrell brothers, Mark Ingram and so many more. 

The Flint I know isn’t going to back down like some punk. The Flint I know changed history with sit-down strikes and birthed unions! 

Photo Credit: www.workers.org 

The Flint I know is not filled with teen pregnancies. The Flint I know was filled with teen parties hosted by Foxy productions, DonQuay, Stacey Williams, DJ Scribble, and the General; at venues like the Genesee Towers, Northwest Bowling Alley, The Genesis, Haskell, and Berston. 

The Flint I know was better than the NBA playoffs. The Flint I know had double headers at the I.M.A. that would put the NBA All-Star weekend to shame. 

I.M.A. Sports Arena 

The Flint I know was better than the Oscars Red Carpet Pre-Show. The Flint I know hosted proms at the University Center and that walk around the circle had you feeling like you were about to accept an award. 

Photo Credit: Bill Bamberger

The Flint I know doesn’t lack faith, churches, or church leaders. The Flint I know has some of the best preachers and community leaders this side of heaven including: The late Bishop Floyd, Pastor Kenneth Stewart, Urundi Knox, Rev. Alfred Harris, Rev. Kim D. Yarber, Rev. Lewis Randolph, Rev. Flowers and the list goes on...

Photo Credit: mlive.com 

The Flint I know will not accept your arsenic. The Flint I know will not go down without an all-out fight. The Flint I know is the toughest town around since 1855!

The Flint I know is “The Valley”

The Flint I know is The Courtland

The Flint I know is Atwood

The Flint I know is Angelos

The Flint I know is Beans & Leaves

The Flint I know is Meijer on Pierson Road

The Flint I know is Kessel’s on Pierson Road

The Flint I know is CLC

The Flint I know is the Beavers, JB’s and the Palm Tree

The Flint I know is Autoworld

The Flint I know is family

What's the Flint that you know? 

LIFE... Insurance

LIFE Insurance…

Remember the theme song from the commercials for the board game LIFE?  It went something like this: “Get lucky in the game of LIFE, marry your honey, and go someplace sunny! Get Lucky in the game of LIFE!”  I always thought that was such a cool theme song. The game in itself was pretty cool and fun too. With one lucky spin you could get married or become a doctor. One of the taglines from the game’s creators even state: “Whatever you choose, you never know what ups and downs you'll encounter along the way.” That statement alone is truer than true, because in life we’re going to have many ups, like the joys of giving birth or graduating high school, to the downs of losing a job, or experiencing a loved one’s death.

In the board game of LIFE, they like to keep it fun for the kids, so death isn’t a strong theme in the family fun game, but in the real game of actual life, death is inevitable. The question is: Will you be prepared when your final spin lands on DEATH? I’m not referring to if you’ll be spiritually or mentally prepared, that’s more of a personal thing. However, it does concern me if you are financially prepared to handle the expenses of death once that day arrives. Do you have life insurance? Or will your death place a burden on your family, where they have to beg, borrow, steal or create a GoFundMe campaign on your behalf?

Life insurance is essential to life and death. Many people are uneducated about the costs and benefits of investing in life insurance. First let me explain the costs associated with having a funeral. According to http://funeral-tips.com/, the average North American Traditional funeral ranges between $7,000 and $10,000. However this range may be higher or lower depending on where you live, but please note that the costs, no matter the location, are not lower than $3,000. Some of the fees for burial include the following: funeral director’s services, casket, embalming, using the funeral home for service or transporting the body to a church or other location, gravesite, grave digger, burial container to hold the grave, headstone, etc. From my own personal experience, from having to bury my mother, my sister and I even had to purchase new undergarments, including a slip in order for her to be placed in the casket. It was in the funeral home’s policy that mandated that she have new ones. So, trust me when I say death is expensive and the little things add up. The programs cost, adding pictures cost, hiring a musician to play at the service cost, having the preacher give a eulogy cost, opening and closing at the service cost. Did I mention that the hearse and limousine cost? Everything costs! Funerals are not cheap! In the event that your loved one passes on, your heart is already heavy and your thoughts are all over the place, you don’t want to have to pack on more misery by adding “How will I pay for this?” to the load. Many people front for Facebook, Instgram, Twitter, Snapchat, etc…, like they have money by flaunting bands, wearing the latest designer or even going on fancy trips, but when you die your family is selling fish dinners, having a party or starting a GoFundMe account to lay you to rest. Meanwhile, they’re losing sleep.

We save money for everything except death!

But all of this can be avoided by investing in Life Insurance. You can get life insurance coverage for as little as $4.00 to $30.00 per month. That’s a small price to pay per month considering all the things we spend our money on. I mean we spend our money on eyebrows and bundles for Pete’s sake! You might think you're making the right decisions, but spend your money wisely on your life's path or it could become your family’s road to ruin. Think of purchasing life insurance as sacrificing one lunch per month, or not going out for a night on the town one weekend a month. Life insurance is actually cheaper than going to the movies. You can insure your life up to $250,000 and since the average funeral is approximately $7,000 that means that your family will have money to spare in the event of your death. Therefore, I encourage you today to buy a Life Insurance policy. If you’re not sure where to start, try the following places: banks, credit unions, local funeral homes, or car insurance agencies. Get covered and insure your life and family today!

Drip Drop... Flint Water Crisis

"Drip drop, drip drippity drop..."

Note: Just know that as I write this, I'm not angry: I'm mad as hell and I'll ride for my city til the day that I die!!!

When you hear the catchy tune, and lyrics of the song "Drip Drop", made popular by Jamal Lyon's fictional character on Fox's hit series "Empire", one of two things come to mind, either dancing or water. In this post, we're going to discuss the latter. When you hear the words drip drop, immediately water comes to mind. Water is known by it's molecular makeup of two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen (H2O). Water is a fluid essential for maintaining human life and the basis of all living things, so when you think of water, you think of purity, clarity and cleanliness. 

However, when the residents of Flint, Michigan, aka Flintstones, think of water, thoughts of anxiety, fear and anger comes to mind. Residents are anxious because they are not sure when this water issue will be resolved. Governor Rick Snyder drug his feet before he decided to declare a state of emergency. Ironically, He had a much quicker response when he decided to continue to allow the residents of Flint to drink and bathe in lead infested water. 

Anxious-They are anxious because month after month they are sent a high ass water bill for unclean and unsafe water and faced with a dilemma to pay it or not pay it. If they choose not to pay it, they risk being penalized with late fees and re-connection of service fees. Simple tasks like turning on a faucet to pour a drink, or splashing your face when you awake in the morning, is quite a daunting one if you live in the city of Flint. Something as simple as bathing, cooking or hydrating is like a life altering risk.

Fearful- Flintstones are fearful of the possibility of being poisoned from the high levels of lead in the water, due to old pipes and an outdated infrastructure. An infrastructure that should have been replaced years ago. But instead of replacing the system, the powers that be just thought they'd push it to the side, in hopes that it would somehow just go away. But the fear continues to grow when medical doctors are reporting that your child could suffer from brain issues due to the high concentration of lead. As if going to the doctor wasn't a fearful event already, but then you add this to this water debacle into the equation.

Angry- The people of Flint are angry because, when the shit hit the fan, the, message was loud and clear, that their lives were not valuable. As long as the government could save some money, then so be it. They were like screw your health! Angered because their skin is breaking out and they are getting sick. Angry because their water is looking like 3rd world country water, in a very developed 1st world United States.

Actual Water of Flint Resident, R. Ferguson. Photo credit: Facebook photo of R. Ferguson

 Flintstones are angry because someone's children and helpless grandparents were and are being poisoned, while the powers that be turned a blind eye. Angry because at the onset of all of this, so many people were aware, people who had the power to change it and didn't. 

This isn't Flint's first battle and it certainly will not be her last. Flint is a tough girl and will get through this hydrated, refreshed and reigning supreme. Flint is going to fight for her basic right of having clean water. Justice will be served on Flint's behalf. It is my sincere hope that Governor Rick Snyder is found guilty of knowingly poisoning men, women, children and elderly. I hope the next drip, drop he hears comes from a raggedy infrastructure, in a filthy sink, in a  nasty cell.

CONSISTENCY

Today’s word of the day is: CONSISTENCY!

In today’s world, consistency has seemingly been swallowed up by instant gratification. Instead of sticking to things or working things out, we have fallen victim to giving up or moving on to something else without a second thought. Without even trying we are on to the next.

In relationships we seek that Cliff and Clair type of love. It’s ideal. But we don’t put in the work. We don’t communicate. We’re not consistent in showing our appreciation for one another. We’re not consistent in our words or deeds. Instead of calling each other we text. Instead of getting to know each other through the good, bad and the ugly, we get an urge to go left right at the corner of semi-good. When things start to look bad, we’re completely out of dodge, and we don’t even get close to ugly because we’re not too fond of pretty.

Every year we’re perpetually trying to lose 10, 15 and 20 lbs. We sign up for our year membership at the gym, declaring that this year we’re going to stick to Kanye’s Workout Plan. We start off with an exercise routine and schedule, but then that becomes too much of a hassle. We’re not seeing results fast enough so we resort to a quick fix, like a waist trainer or some magical tea to do the trick. When all we have to do is stay the course.

We say we want to save money, but we stay in the mall. We’re not setting financial goals. So instead of seeing gains all we see is losses.

We say we want to be great. We say we want to be successful. We say we want results. We say all these things verbally. We tweet about it. Boast on our statuses about it. We even repost memes about it. But what are we actually doing about it?

Let us move forward into 2016 with consistency. Let our daily agenda be to stay the course. Let us not do something once or twice and expect success. Let the motto for 2016 be: Consistency and without a shadow of a doubt I’m sure we’ll see the sweet fruit of our labor bring forth nothing short of success! 

Real Love & Hip Hop

Rappers: Remy Ma & Papoose (Hip Hop’s Personification of Ride or Die)

In the early ninety’s Mary J. Blige was looking for a Real Love. Everyone wants that kind of love, but few us are fortunate enough to find it. She sang from the depths of her soul: "Real love, I'm searching for a real love, someone to set my heart free, real love..." Rappers Remy Ma & Papoose happened to find real love with one another and are the personification of that Real Love Mary J. was singing about.  Remy Ma and Papoose captured our hearts on the season 6 premiere episode of Love & Hip Hop New York. 

Photo Credit:@thereakremyma Instragram 

It’s been a year since Remy has been out of prison.  After doing a six year bid for literally slapping a heaux, Remy Ma is looking good, setting stages on fire and killing the game in a major way. While she was away her husband/bestfriend was there to hold her down. It’s common for a woman to hold a man down while he's locked down, but quite a rarity for a man to play that position. I applaud Pap for being a faithful man for better or for worse. You can tell by their interaction on camera, he literally loves, honors and protects Remy to the fullest extent. Their love is so TRILL that these two were married over the phone while she was away in prison. 

It wasn’t the ideal situation, but when you love someone you live by the “By Any Means Necessary Code.”  Can we say: #RelationshipGoals!!! Papoose understands how Rem felt about their phone nuptials so he reserved a castle for their wedding “do-over” in exchange for a baby to complete their family. Although Papoose has 3 children from previous relationships and Remy Ma has 1 son; Papoose wants to create a child with his one true love. They can never get the time they lost back, but Pap is making sure he does everything in his power to make sure every moment counts. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for Hip Hop’s real life ride or die couple! 

Photo Credit: @therealremyma Instagram 

Black Girl Magic

                          Black Girl Magic

You may have seen the hashtags that read: #blackgirlmagic and wondered to yourself what does that mean exactly? Well I’m here to give you some insight as to what #blackgirlmagic (bmg) is. You, yourself possess this super power. Black girl magic is not what you’ve seen in a Disney movie with a little fairy dust and a bippity, boppity, boop! 

No, black girl magic is richer and more potent. Black girl magic is what sustains the black female in the midst of this chaotic world we live in. In a world that writes stories that read we are: “not-rape-able”, “ugly”, “sluts” and “aggressive. Black girl magic is the power to see negative imagery, read negative comments, encounter rudeness, endure discrimination and still carry yourself like a queen, a goddess and in modern terms: a BOSS ASS BITCH! 

Black girl magic is in our ancestral DNA and when we need it most it automatically activates. 

#Blackgirlmagic is being 42 years old and looking 22 years old, maybe it’s Maybeline… Nah it’s Melanin

#Blackgirlmagic is turning a Rainbow outfit into red carpet ready

#Blackgirlmagic is slickin’ dem edges down to perfection, throwing on a red lip, hence going from drab to fab!

#Blackgirlmagic is protecting your kids

#Blackgirlmagic is holdin’ down ya whole squad!

#Blackgirlmagic is the power to be hurt by men emotionally time and time again and still be able to open your heart to love one more time

#Blackgirlmagic is making a 5 star meal on a $15 budget

#Blackgirlmagic is taking a head scarf, making it a head wrap and then a fashion trend

#Blackgirlmagic is restraining yourself when you should have slapped that hoe ass co-worker

#Blackgirlmagic is praying for your enemies as well as your friends

#Blackgirlmagic is loving GOD & Trap music

#Blackgirlmagic is refusing to give up when the odds are against you

#Blackgirlmagic is standing up for what you believe in

My Black Queens continue to spread love and share that Black Girl Magic wherever you go! 

I AM HERE FOR THE WIZ LIVE 3.0

I AM HERE FOR THE WIZ LIVE! 3.0

The magicalness (my new word) of The Wiz was everything! To sit in front of the television and watch a two hour production that kept my five year old child fully engaged was phenomenal and a true miracle in itself! It took me back to my childhood when my family would sit around the t.v. with snacks to watch a network television special. I remember when the Jackson 5: The American Dream debuted on ABC in 1992 and how excited I was to be watching it with my family and how glued to the screen I was.

 What a joy it was for me to share a similar experience with my own child. My son was absolutely delighted with the onscreen production. At every scene and musical number his eyes lit up. He kept asking me questions and wanted to wear some of the costumes. He even requested I buy him the green jacket from one the Emerald City scenes for Christmas so he could rock it with his green “chucks”. Therefore, it is written that the 2015 production of The Wiz was indeed a major hit!

Emerald City Bouncer! Common

The Hair & Make Up:

One thing I know for sure is that black people know how to show up and show out and that’s exactly what they did with the hair and make-up for the cast of The Wiz. When I tell you the hair was laid and was giving me all types of Black Royalty and Regal feels. To see locs, crochet braids, afros, colored hair, asymmetrical cuts, fades, flat irons, etc… made me feel so proud to black and a woman! It was reminiscent of the 70s when we were screaming it loud that we were black and proud and unafraid to accept our own brand of beauty. Oh and then the make-up was beat to Zeus, Athena, Venus and all the gods! I was yelling things at the tv like: Yaaaaaasss! You betta be fine! Face is beat hunty! Eyebrows on fleek! I mean The Fashion Fair Cosmetics Company of yesterday’s past and the MAC team of today are just twirling their brushes in excitement.

The Dancing:

The Dancing Poppies

The dancing was so relevant and on point. To see Queen Mary herself Hit da Quan when we all know The Queen struggles in the dance department was just fantastic! The choreography was created with a great sense of bridging the generations. There was voguing and dabbing and nay nay-ing and just everything in between. The Crows were getting it, the Poppies were serving it, the flying monkeys were killing it and I loved every moment of it! My son and his friend even tried to do some of the moves in the middle of the living room.  

The Cast:

The Cast of The Wiz Live

Every person cast in the Wiz from the leads to the extras were awesome! Every person that took to that stage shined bright like a diamond. The irony of that is diamonds come from Africa and this diamond studded cast was glistening. Dorothy played by newcomer Shanice Williams was giving me all kinds of African-American Pride. A cute little brown girl from Jersey who can saaaaaannnnng! Her voice. Her facial expressions. Her eyes. Her movement. Her countenance. Her overall essence brought so much to the character of Dorothy and it resonated through the television screen. The Scarecrow’s innocence was so sweet and his voice was angelic. The Tinman played by singer Ne-yo was great. He truly was the heart of the main characters. But the Emmy worthy performance of David Allen-Grier is what really brought everything together. David played the Cowardly Lion, but there was nothing cowardly about his performance. His performance was spot on! He hit every beat. He hit every note. He hit every cue. His comedic timing was perfection and he made me want ease on down the road with him arm in arm.

I AM HERE FOR THE WIZ LIVE 2015!  

ME vs. me

ME vs. Me

Internal and external battles are a real thing! I’m constantly battling me all the time. There’s so many things taking place within me, I rarely have time or energy to battle someone else.  Here’s a glimpse of one of my many battles…

Polite Me vs. Pop Off Me:

Every now and then I have an encounter where I have to make a decision to either display my polite self or the “pop off” version of me. In many cases people are able to enjoy my pleasant side. Usually I’m upbeat. I’m kind, I’ll flash my Colgate smile, embrace you with a hug or even crack a funny joke. That’s pretty much me ninety-five percent of the time. Then there are times when I am placed in scenarios where certain situations call for me to make a vital decision: To pop off or not to pop off? That is the question. Just recently I was put in such a predicament. Here’s the story:

I go to the doctor for my annual check-up. Seems pretty routine right? But for some strange reason at my new doctor, in my new town, my educational background is on my patient chart. This should have been my first red flag when I first started going to this physician, but then I figured they must use this information for statistical data, however after this visit I think they use it to be pricks! With that being said you can imagine this visit didn’t go so well. In walks my doctor with her laptop, she pulls up my chart and after “hello” she says: “I see you have a Master’s degree.” (Strike 1) My reply: “Yes, indeed.” However, in my head I’m thinking what does my degree have to do with the price of tea in china? What does my degree have to do with this visit and why in the hell does it matter?

What happened next could have led to a path of probation or even jail, had I allowed the “pop off” to me win. She proceeds to go through the steps of my physical and puts the stethoscope on my back and asks me to take a deep breath. I do as instructed and I inhale while simultaneously moving my hair out of the way. (I’m currently rocking a very cute natural styled weave that falls close to my bra strap) The doc then says: “Is this your hair?” (Strike 2) I reply: “No.” Her response: “Good, I was about to say that’s not fair because my hair is so thin.” (Strike 3) Let me not begin on what's not fair lady!!!

WTF???? I literally had to do a Zach Morris Time Out moment and have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. I was truly appalled at this educated professional’s lack of cultural sensitivity, considering she was a woman of color, although she wasn’t a Black. But based on the comments throughout my physical, I could tell she identified with certain stereotypical ideologies.

I could have popped off, which I really wanted to, or I could have educated her on her ignorance, since my actual hair is as thick and strong in texture as the extensions in my scalp. But then I thought: every moment of my life shouldn’t have to be a teachable moment, and I just went on and let polite me live.

Be Kind... You Never Know Who You're Sitting Next To...

BE KIND: You never know who you’re sitting next to…

I work in education and I always tell my students to always be kind to their peers. I encourage them to interact with everyone, not just their clique. I learned this valuable lesson from my beloved mother, Beverly Sims, who always told me and my sister to treat everybody right, because you could be entertaining an angel. This jewel of advice came from a Bible scripture, Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

From the day I started school I was a social butterfly. I would talk to anyone with a pulse, and this behavior still holds true as an adult. My best friend says I will even talk to a wall. Sounds a tad bit nuts, but it’s true. I say all this to say, one should always be polite and kind to others because you never know who you’re sitting next to.

Back in 1997, as a 7^th grader at Whittier Middle School in Flint, Michigan, I had no control over the seating arrangement in Mr. Earl Crowder’s math class.

Whittier Middle School, Crapo St. Flint, MI 

I was a very studious student with an affinity for good grades, good laughs and singing. Little did I know I’d be seated next to the school’s resident rebel, Mr. JaQuavis Coleman. “Quavis” as we called him was your typical middle school heartthrob: handsome, athletic, funny and bad as hell! Due to his sense of humor and my love for talking, we became fast friends. JaQuavis would have me cracking up every day from blazing on people to him telling me who his next girlfriend was going to be. If you know me, you know I laugh obnoxiously loud and so I got in trouble every damn day. JaQuavis knew I could sing, so he would request for me to sing to him after I finished my work. This too led to me getting into trouble. My punishment would be a writing assignment from Mr. Crowder, dirty looks from Mr. Crowder and threats of calling my mother from Mr. Crowder. My poor hand would be hurting and my nerves would be shot! Quavis’ punishment was much harsher than mine, he would get his classes closed or kicked out of class. However, none of this would stop us from doing it all over again. Soon our middle school lives would be up and we would enter high school; we remained friends throughout.  Even though Quavis had a “reputation” that I won’t get into, I never once judged him. He was just my friend who always made me laugh and looked out for me if I was low on lunch money. Senior year Quavis and I were both voted “Biggest Flirt”. I think that happened because we were both kind to people, even to the not so cool kids, no matter what. People can often take politeness the wrong way. 

But, I digress. During our Senior year, JaQuavis and I would share one last class together. That class would be DRAMA class. Although we would hang out at lunch, at parties, or when I could convince him to come to church with me, we hadn’t shared a class together since middle school due to me being in the “gifted” program. So we were both geeked to be reunited in class again. And guess what? We sat next to each other. We were back at it again like we had never been separated, cracking jokes, laughing and him telling me about his girlfriend at the time, who would later on become his wife (Hey Ashley). Our teacher at the time, couldn’t understand how a student like me could be friends with a student like JaQuavis. Adults can be so petty sometime. Anyway upon graduating high school administrators, teachers, and others pretty much had high expectations for me. But what would become of Mr. Coleman, who had the world on his shoulders and the odds stacked against him? 

How about Mr. JaQuavis Coleman became a New York Times Bestselling author, producer, screenplay writer and director on they ass!!!!! I am glad to call JaQuavis my friend. I am glad Mr. Crowder allowed us to sit next to each other.I’m glad my Mother taught me not to judge people and to be kind to all those I encounter, because you never know who you could be entertaining unawares. I happened to be entertaining a future mogul.

Author/Director JaQuavis Coleman and I at his movie premiere "White House" is Dallas, TX

JaQuavis isn’t my only successful friend, I could name about 100 more or so, but if you’re reading this I want you to understand the lessons in this story:

Lessons:

1.       The Power of Networking- If at any time I call one of my successful friends for a reference, a word of encouragement or to help my students, they’re always down for the cause

2.       Friendship- Friendships can start at any point in life. True friendship can always pick up where it left off; build friendships with people from all walks of life  

3.       Thou shalt not judge- Friendship may not always fit the bill of a Huxtable kid, Accept people for who they are, not how the world views them (including teachers and adults)

4.       Laughter- Always find a way to laugh

5.       Keep in touch- As we get older our lives become busy, but always find a way to at least say HEY!

6.       SUPPORT- Always support your friends in their endeavors!

Who knew that the kid I sat next to, who got me in trouble would grow up take over the world?

A few of my Successful Friends/Family:

1.       Jon Connor- Rapper/Songwriter/Producer on Aftermath @jonconnormusic (Instagram)

2.       Tonika Arline- University of Michigan-Flint  Rockstar of Admissions

3.       Kendra Cochran- Makeup Artist @kcofaces (Instagram)

4.       Tiffany Cole-Allen- Technical Designer/CEO of Non-Profit Org: Fashion Focus Initiative

5.       Chuniq Inpower- NFL Players Association Digital Content Manager/CEO Just Regular Girls

6.       Karhema Simon- A woman in S.T.E.M. that rocks!

7.       Quintisha “Molly” Burns- Fitness motivator/Awesome Mom @napturalmolly (Instagram)

8.       Laneishia Lamb- Fashion Designer/CEO Pretty Geeky Bowtique @prettygeekybowtique (Instagram)

9.       Trevon Davis-  Singer/Actor/Broadway Star @instagramtrevon (Instagram)

1.   Pamela Balentine- Financial Guru/ Owner/CEO Viking Financial Services

1.   Keysa Smith- Owner/Chef Spectacular Spudz @spectacularspudz (Instagram)

1.   Brianna Grier- Owner D-Town Coney Island Dallas, Texas @dtownconeyisland (Instagram)

1.   Kala Wilburn- Fashion Designer/Founder Vehicle City Fashion Week @kalasantrese (Instagram)

There’s more, but I’ll stop here for now…

Til Next Time… Be Kind 

Retail... Everyone has a story... Here's mine

Retail… Everyone has a story… Here’s mine:

I never had the pleasure of flipping burgers although I desperately wanted to. Flipping burgers meant I could have fun like Bon Qui Qui from Mad TV who worked at King Burger or I could work with “Calvin” from McDonalds. I mean who didn’t want to work with “Calvin” from the McDonald’s commercials and possibly date him? Working at McDonalds was a teenager’s dream during my teenage years. I wanted to work at the Mickey D’s franchise on Clio Road, in Flint, MI, where I’m from. That location used to jump, especially on Friday nights, and I wanted in on a piece of the action. I filled out applications and even went to the on sight interviews, but nope the burger gods just wasn’t feeling me. But, guess who was feeling me? Yep, you guessed it: The Retail Gods!

My First Retail Job

My first retail job was at David’s Bridal, a reasonably priced bridal shop for women looking to get hitched.

 I was 16 years old when I got the gig. My cousin Erica was hired first and then she told me to apply and just like that my cousin and I were slangin’ wedding gowns. We were getting paid above minimum wage and working in a girl’s dream shop, so we thought. The dream soon turned into a nightmare like episode of the Twilight Zone. How did it turn into a nightmare you ask? For starters, our manager was going through a terrible divorce and the broad was bitter as hell. Imagine you’re going through a divorce and you have to work in a place where you see happy, optimistic brides every day. Talk about torture. Since she was on an island of miserable, of course she needed company, so she took her frustrations out on us and the rest of the employees. It was a tense environment. Some days were great. Like when a bride found her dream gown and her bridesmaids dresses all in the same day. The joy and gleam in her eyes is priceless. But then there were the days when a Bridezilla would enter the store and all hell would break loose. When the ‘zilla would enter, the aura of the store would change. This is the “bride-to-be” that would have us getting every dress in the store for her to try on, only for her to be disappointed at every turn. We would be yelled at, cursed at and treated cruelly. This job was so savage that Erica and I were let go on our day off. You would think that my experience at David’s Bridal would have been my first and last tango with retail, but it was only the beginning.

The Red Bullseye

The next time I would find myself at a retail chain, I would be 24 years old. I was in graduate school, looking to earn a few extra bucks and since the red bullseye was in close proximity to my apartment, it seemed like a good fit. Emphasis on “seemed”. Now, I’m never one to brag about my credentials, but if someone asks me questions, I tend to answer honestly. With that being said, when I first started, my co-workers would ask me if I was a student at the local university nearby and I would reply I was a graduate student there. Wrong answer. For the people who were trying to make the red bullseye their life career, I was a threat to their entire world. For some strange and irrational reason, they thought I wanted a high ranking position at the company. Nope wasn’t in my book of goals at all. I had tasks like finger spacing the hanging clothes, which meant the hangers had to be a finger space apart. Ummmm, really? Like why? No need to worry honey, you can have that. Then there were the rude ass people. One day I was folding clothes in the girls’ section of the store. My tables were all nice and neat and I was ready to move on to my next department, when a customer from the bowels of hell decided to purposely destroy my neatly folded tables. She then proceeds to walk by me and say: “I’m giving you job security.” I looked at the heaux like Bih! I will slap the taste out yo’ mouth. But, the way my life was set up at the time, I had to humble myself and re-fold those clothes.

The Pretty Panties Store

In the middle of my pregnancy with my first and only child, I decided to work at the pretty panty store known as Victoria’s Secret. It was no secret that my pregnant behind couldn’t fit nothing in that store, but the body mist. The great thing about working at Vicky’s secret is that I got to wear black every day and if you’ve ever been pregnant you know “black” is your very best friend. Working here was cool, I got a nice little discount and the consumers of this store were actually friendly. Go figure. The only downfall to my experience at this retail store, was my pregnancy hormones. I was constantly sick and having to barf. I would be in the middle of conversation with someone and start crying. Another downside to working here was standing on my feet for 8 hours. For a normal person that is perfectly fine, but if you’re preggo this is a death sentence. Needless to say my time there was extremely short.

The Orange Life

Most recently I needed to break up the monotony of my everyday life so I decided to don the orange apron. I’m in a new city so I figured the best way to get an idea about the locals is to work at a retail giant. In my salaried position, I see and work with the same people every day and that can become uninteresting. Working here and in retail in general allows one to meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. I am able to interact with the stay-at-home mom looking to redo her baby’s room, the college student trying to build a trampoline from scratch, the artist working on a mural, the business owner buying supplies, the landscaper getting extra items for the job, the dad helping a son with a science project and the list goes on. I don’t have to worry about meeting deadlines. I do however, learn a lot about people’s citizenship status when I ask them to apply for credit cards. But most importantly I get to work with really cool people.

 But don’t be fooled, there’s always that one crazy customer that makes you be like, you know what screw this job! The customer that made me feel this way was an irate customer that came in the form of a man. If you haven’t been shopping in a while or you’re stuck in the 20^th Century, you may or may not know that companies and banks are switching over to “Chip Cards”. Chip cards are allegedly safer for the consumer against fraud and theft. Using the chip card, however takes longer than the old way of just swiping your card and going about your business. So, said customer comes through my line and the chip card process is taking longer than he’s mentally capable of handling. He starts yelling at me and telling me how horrible this new system is. He goes on to tell me that I need to tell the manager that this system sucks and from now on he will be shopping at Lowes! All I could do was *Blank Stare* Ahhhh… the joys of retail.

That’s my story, what’s yours?