Tynee Talks: Things we should actually BAN instead of Muslims...

Tynee Talks: Things we should actually ban instead of Muslims...

President Business, out here cuttin' up in real life! The Orange Terror has enacted a Muslim Ban for 90 days, and that's messed up. Of all the things he could be concerned about, this Apricot Asshole Ass ninja,  is damaging our country and ruining families. Since he's handing out jobs to unqualified demons left and right, he may as well appoint me ( a sane, normal person) to an office to ban things. He needs to allow me to ban things, that actually need to be banished from this county and the world in general.

For starters he should have banned the following:

Le Fuq Boys: Fuq Boys need to be banished and terminated. They serve no purpose. All they do is ruin lives, hurt feelings, and lie. Fuq Boys always want honor, when they are the most dishonorable mofos on the planet. If anybody is worth banning, it should have definitely been them.

Long A** Job Applications: There is no reason, a job application should be almost 2 hours long! Stop with these asinine questionnaires, that do not really let you know if this employee will be a good fit. If a person meets the initial job requirements, schedule homeboy for an interview. And if a person uploads their resume, stop requiring that they still input their job history. Losing 2 hours of life, and then receiving a rejection email is not cool. Ban this shit!

Mona Scott Young: Exhibit A: VH1 on Mondays & Wednesdays. Nuff said!

Photo Credit: http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/

Student Loan Repayment: Ban Student Loan repayments if the graduate doesn't land a high paying job; that the U.S. Department of Labor Statistics has estimated their salary should be. If a person uses the majority of their check to pay bills, just to live, then they shouldn't have to repay the loan, because clearly the degree was fraud!

Ban Donald from Melania: Listen, Donald Trump shouldn't be allowed within 50 feet of Melania. He needs to be banned from her presence at all times, because clearly she's in clear and present danger! #FreeMelania

 

Tynee Talks: ALTERNATIVE FACTS!

Tynee Talks: Alternative Facts!

 

Photo Credit:
 http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/americas/88684214/seanspicersays-The-perfect-meme-for-the-alternative-facts-era

A new White House Administration, not only ushers in a new President of the United States of America, but a whole new staff, and among that staff, includes a new Press Secretary. White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, wasted no time lying on national television to the American public. I mean this man lied like we weren’t collectively looking at the same thing, as the same damn time.

Photo Credit: Google Images

To make light of his lying ass, his homegirl, White House Counsel Kellyanne Conway, told NBC's Meet The Press, that he didn’t give falsehoods, he gave ALTERNATIVE FACTS! Ladies and gentleman this is not a joke, this heffa got on national t.v. and said her mans didn’t lie, he gave ALTERNATIVE FACTS! I mean where they do that at?

So to continue in the example of key White House staff members, I’m going to list a few Alternative Facts… Maybe if I believe in the bullshit long enough, they'll actually turn into fact.

Bruh Man actually lives on the 5^th floor…

Kim Kardashian  hasn't dated a lot of men…

Photo Credit: http://www.topgistng.com/2015/02/checkout-all-men-kim-kardashian-has.html

Slavery was actually unpaid farming…

Rachel Dolezal is a dark-skinned African American Woman…

Photo Credit: Heavy.com 

Kanye West is sane, and I’d trust him to make key decisions in my life…

Photo Credit: http://ijr.com/2014/08/165381-kanye-west-dealing-paparrazi-blacks-faced-civil-rights-struggle/

Michelle Williams was relevant in Destiny’s Child…

Destiny’s Child wasn’t a set-up to make Beyonce’ a solo star…

K. Michelle & Keyshia Cole would be great at teaching etiquette classes to young girls…

Whenever he says “Just the tip” he means it…

Viola Davis doesn’t walk hard in every scene in every movie…

Peter Gunz straps up every time, but the condom usually breaks…

Photo Credit: VH1.com 

Trump means well… 

Photo Credit: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-making-fun-reporters-disability/story?id=35463888

Tynee Talks Top 10 Foolery of the Week

Tynee Talks Top 10 Foolery of the Week

In case you you’ve been in a coma or somehow took the blue pill and declined being in the Matrix for a while, chances are you missed a whole heap of foolishness this week. I present to you: THE HIGHLIGHTS of this week’s FUCKERY!

• Lil Bow Wow apparently ain’t Black… Who knew?

  

  Photo Credit: Instagram

• Jackie Christie still M-E-S-S-Y... How old is too old? Asking for a friend...

  

  Photo Credit: classyblackgirl.com 

• I’m convinced that Mona Scott Young got the cast of LHHATL from a comic book store located in the bowels of Wal-Mart aka HELL
  
• Deelishis done got on Stevie J’s bus 

  

  Photo Credit: lipstickalley.com 

• Mimi is now an interior designer and will be installing shower rods (No pun intended, I kid, I kid)

  

  Photo Credit: @MrKitt215 

• Trump is still running for President of the United States of America 

  

  Photo Credit: perezhilton.com 

• Pastor Troy told Minnie he ain’t bout no titles, wasn’t too pressed about her alleged “miscarriage” and the look on her LITTLE face sent me! (Little Women ATLANTA)
  
• Momma Dee has a new song, hence someone is giving special Needs persons a chance

  

  Photo Credit: rickeysmileymorningshow.com 

• Apparently, Slaves who built the White House had it good according to Bill O'Reilly; how he came to that conclusion leads me to believe that Cocaine is a hell of a drug!

  

  Photo Credit:
   http://giphy.com/gifs/cocaine-rick-james-chappelle-show-L4TYWQn8rALRu

• Lastly, we’re at WAR with KOREA people! Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife! Let us PRAY. Amen. 

  

  Photo Credit: diylol.com 

This Seems Like a Set-Up: Hilary Clinton 2016

Photo Credit: memegenerator.com

If you’re a Black person in America, you pretty much know what a set-up feels, looks, and tastes like. We’ve been being set-up for quite some time, so it’s easy for us to recognize. Game recognize game. With, that being said, this whole lead up to Election 2016, seems like a complete set-up for American constituents to vote for Hilary Rodham Clinton.

Photo Credit: http://graphics.latimes.com/2016-whos-running-for-president/

Here are all the ingredients for a perfect Presidential set-up:

Step 1- Get the most ridiculous candidates you can find to run against the most qualified person in the bunch

Photo Credit: www.mtv.com

Step 2- Make a pompous, arrogant, racist, jerk the front runner in the opposing party

Step-3- That pompous, arrogant, racist, jerk happens to be a Billionaire named Donald Trump

Photo credit: Reuters/Dominick Reuter http://www.businessinsider.com/nbc-donald-trump-2015-6

Step 4- The person running against you in the same party happens to be a pro-Black, pro-Human, anti-Establishment, Martin Luther King, Jr. marchin, for-the-People white male from Vermont

Step 5- Get an interview on the most popular radio show in the country (The Breakfast Club) and claim that you carry hot sauce in yo bag, and therefore you have swag

Step 6- Lie every chance you get, based on whatever crowd you’re in front of at the time of said lie

Step 7- Get Endorsed by current standing President of the United States of America

 

Best POTUS Ever!
Photo Credit: http://www.forbes.com/profile/barack-obama/

Hilary has been in the politics game for a long ass time. She has been plotting to be President since she was the First Lady of this great nation. It’s pretty safe to say, that she was probably getting her Presidential on back then, and Bill was a mere figurehead.  Although, I am a young tenderoni, I have been in the world long enough to be affected by Ronald Reagan’s Reaganomics, which screwed Black people, George H.W. Bush and his shenanigans, which screwed Black people, Our homeboy Bill Clinton, who implemented prison reform, which in turn really screwed Black people who didn’t even commit violent crimes. So, if your Mom’s favorite cousin Tyrone, or your Uncle LeRoy is still in the Pen doing a 30 year bid, for carrying a gram of weed or crack, be sure to thank your favorite saxophone playing, not-inhaling the weed ass President William Bill Clinton. Which leads us to George W. Bush, who screwed everybody and ruined lives for a span of 8 years; his bullshit didn’t discriminate, however, in keeping up with American tradition, Black people were affected the most. And last, but certainly not least we were redeemed by the coolest President ever: Barack Hussain Obama, who actually made sure ALL THE PEOPLE were good. Now, I’m not saying Hilary will be a bad President, I’m just sayin’ the shit was set in motion a long time for her to be President and this whole song and dance they’re doing to make it seem like it wasn’t is an insult to my intelligence and yours. I know a set-up when I see it! 

Mayday, Mayday,Mayday: 3 Things that have peeps on the brink of a Mental Breakdown!

It's Mental Health Awareness Month and here are 3 things going on right now that have people on the brink of a mental breakdown:

1.    Trump as the Republican Nominee

People are literally are on the edge of a mental breakdown because this man could possibly become the leader of the Free World. At first it seemed like some sick joke when he announced his run for Presidency, but then he never got off stage and his set lasted longer than the intended 20 minutes. God help us!

2.    Beyonce’ is Black

White people have been calling their primary care physicians since Superbowl Sunday for Prozac, Xanax and for psychiatric referrals ever since Beyonce’ told Black girls to get in Formation. Two months later, Queen Bey drops Lemonade which solidified her Blackness. People really got into a frenzy. It’s like they walked into the Matrix or Twilight Zone and everything they thought they knew really wasn’t as it seemed. These people are definitely on the brink! Little did they know Bey, been rockin her baby hair with ProStyle gel. 

Photo Credit: http://www.instyle.com/celebrity/transformations/beyonces-changing-looks

3.    The Running Man Challenge

If you grew up in the 80s and 90s you know what the “running man” is and what it’s supposed to look like. Fast forward to 2016 and these darn 90s and 21^st century babies have destroyed a classic dance move and created some goofy looking trend, set to Ghosttown DJ’s “My Boo”. The “running man” will definitely make you bust a sweat, not have you looking at the camera with some dumb expression and awkward foot movement. People over 30 are literally losing their shit every time they see this foolery come across their TL’s. Somebody please contact MC Hammer STAT!

Photo Credit: http://www.essence.com/2010/02/02/throwback-the-running-man